We have no idea how we missed this the first time around, but thanks to Hari Kunzru for drawing our attention to it this morning: Flavorwire recently put together a great list of dirty love letters written by famous authors. It was, uh, bracing to learn about James Joyce’s flatulence fetish, but our favorite by far comes from our own Franz Kafka, whose dirty dreams are every bit as surreal as you’d expect them to be:
“Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.
Remembering that one extinguished fire with clothing, I took an old coat and beat you with it.
But again the transmutations began and it went so far that you were no longer even there, instead it was I who was on fire and it was also I who beat the fire with the coat.”